Communicating During a Divorce: 3 Things You Need to Know
Facing a divorce can be incredibly overwhelming, which is one of the reasons learning to communicate with your former partner is essential. Find out how you can communicate during your divorce in healthy ways.
When you and your partner decide to terminate your relationship, you may think that the hard part is over. After all, you’ve chosen to get divorced. That’s it, right? You can start moving on with your lives now. Unfortunately, the decision to separate is just the first step in the divorce process. When you and your partner choose to end your relationship legally, you’ll find that you still need to make decisions regarding custody of your children or pets. You may also need to separate your financial accounts and even divide your physical assets. It’s very important that you communicate effectively during this time in order to expedite the divorce process. Here’s what you need to know.
1. Stay focused.
It’s a good idea to limit the amount of communication you have with your ex. Ideally, you should talk to each other when you have a common goal you’re working toward, such as meeting up to divide your assets or scheduling pick-ups and drop-offs for your children. When you do get together in person, make sure that you stay focused on the task at hand. This can help minimize the chances that you’ll start fighting, placing blame, or pointing fingers. Remember that you have already decided to separate. You don’t need to rehash old fights during this time.
2. Stay calm.
Anytime you have a long history with another person, there will be challenges. When you and your ex communicate, it will be easy to let your emotions get the best of you. Try to avoid this. Instead of getting angry when your former partner makes a passive-aggressive comment, try to stay calm and collected. Take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that you’re moving forward. Soon the entire ordeal will be over and you won’t have to face them on a regular basis anymore. It’s also important that you choose your own words carefully. Take a minute to consider how you can best word something, especially if you’re discussing a sensitive or high-stress topic.
3. Get help.
Remember that it’s possible to seek help when it comes to communicating during and after a divorce. You may choose to meet with a counselor who can offer you guidance during this time; however, some divorcing couples find that mediation is a great way to communicate effectively during a divorce. A mediator can help you to communicate with one another as you make difficult decisions regarding your children and finances.
When you’re ready to separate from your partner, reach out to your family law attorney. Your lawyer will help you understand your legal rights and options during this time and can assist you as you prepare for the next stage of your life.