Compassionate Guidance

Through Difficult Personal Times

When co-parenting, don’t compete with each other

| Dec 26, 2019 | Child Custody

Divorced parents often feel an inclination to compete with one another. You want your child to love you more than your ex. Or, at least, you want them to prefer you. When it’s time in the custody schedule for your child to leave your ex’s house and come to your house, you want them to be excited. On top of that, you want them to be disappointed to leave.

This feeling may be natural, but it is not wise for parents to compete and attempt to be the “best” or the favorite. You have to put your child’s best interests first, and competing with your ex often does the opposite.

For instance, maybe your ex always makes your child do their homework. You decide you want to be the fun parent, so you tell them they don’t have to. Then you ask them which parent they like spending time with more. Easy: It’s you. Every child will pick the parent that doesn’t make them do homework as the better parent.

But are you? Obviously not. That approach just holds your child back. It impacts their education negatively. It could hurt their future prospects when going to college and starting a career. And you know this. What is actually best for your child is pushing them to do well in school, and you and your spouse need to be on the same page with something like that.

This is just one example, but it helps to show one of the biggest child custody mistakes parents make so that you can avoid it. At the same time, make sure you understand your parental rights.