If you’re being abused by your spouse or your partner, you do not need to spend time thinking about why it happens. You simply need to seek safety for yourself and, if applicable, for your children. That should be your only goal.
However, it is important to explore the reasoning behind abuse in an effort to understand why people are subjected to this type of behavior. No one deserves to live like that, but it happens all the time. Why do abusers do what they do?
Often, the reason is that they are simply seeking to control the other person. They do it physically, emotionally, financially or even sexually — and these are all different types of abuse. They may even use more than one, such as physically abusing a spouse consistently and also cutting him or her off from the family funds, thereby making the person dependent on them and less likely to leave.
When you think of it this way, the specific type of abuse doesn’t matter as much to the person committing it. Someone who physically abuses their partner may not enjoy the event, but it’s the only thing they know how to do to make sure that they maintain control in the relationship. That, then, is the root of the problem and the reason why abuse is so common in family units.
Again, if you are suffering from abuse, you do not deserve it and you do not need to continue to live like that. There are legal options that can help you. Make sure you know exactly what they are and how they work.